I am back from a long weekend camping with my Brownies. We hiked, we crafted, we sang, we played, we froze… a good time was had by all. The good thing about this also is that it gives me time with just my daughter. She has to attend most of Thomas’ appointments and hears about his medication and the meetings, etc. Overall she is quite good about the attention he gets but I know she feels shunted occasionally. This time away also provides time for my husband and my son to bond and find out about each other. This is the story of what they discovered this weekend.
My son has always perseverated on babies. They are his thing. He desperately wants to be a dad and so he practices. He plays with dolls. He talks to people who have babies. He talks to people about babies. He asks me to have another baby. Now while I will do just about anything for my son, having my husband’s vasectomy reversed is not on the list. Thomas has owned dolls. Thomas has had his dolls taken away. Thomas talks about dolls. Thomas has had his talking time limited to certain times as kids were getting a titch annoyed. Thomas has played with real babies, fake babies, imaginary babies and now it is paper babies. He is now into making paper babies. He will draw them. Cut them out. Hinge them together and introduce them as his new little brothers. He has designed diapers for them. Diaper bags. Bottles. The whole shebang. Needless to say, while we appreciate his artistic bent the medium is a little odd for an almost 10 year old boy. I don’t want to make him ashamed. We try very hard to explain in a non-judgemental manner when and how he can express his baby-ism. I fear that we have not been as successful as we could have but we also can’t stand by while he retreats further in to fantasy and in to being bullied or beat up.
Needless to say this is also hard for my husband to handle. I think it is a compliment to his parenting skills. He just rubs his forehead. My main concern is that someday Thomas will convince some little 16 year old that making a baby would be a good idea. I can just picture him walking in the door and saying – Hey Ma, look what I did. Yikes.
What we also know about Thomas is that he loves cars. He likes to collect them. He likes to race them. He likes HotWheels. He likes remote control. He likes to build them tracks. He likes to drive them. Michael chose to expose Thomas to go-karts this weekend. The kid is a natural. My husband beamed as he described how well Thomas did. He said he was so proud – he gave him hugs and kisses and just effused with praise. Now don’t get me wrong, my husband does all of these things on a regular basis but this was new. His face shone as he described how surprised and pleased he was that Thomas not only enjoyed himself but really excelled. Thomas was equally proud of himself and loved every minute of it. I think we might have the beginning of a new hobby that might serve to steer him away from dolls – just a bit anyway.
So that is my son. Race cars and dolls. Two completely opposite ends of the boy spectrum. He is a daredevil and a wanna be dad. He is nurturing. He is brave. He is a conundrum. He is my boy and my heart. Hopefully the two ends of Thomas will come together and form one amazing person that can live a healthy and happy life.