One Step Closer

One day closer to death appears to be alot of peoples’ view on birthdays.  And I guess for the most part this is factual.  It is reality.  It is what it is.  Today on my 41st birthday, I really don’t feel that way.  I feel one step closer to my dreams.  One step closer to becoming the wonderfully well rounded individual I’ve always hoped and tried to be.  One step closer to continuing on a journey begun 41 years ago.  All it takes to start that journey is one step.

How do we begin that journey ?  We really don’t have much choice in the matter.  One minute we are tight and cozy in a well padded cocoon and the next thing you know the top of your head hurts, you are getting squeezed down a tunnel that feels much too small and as you finally make your way out, someone smacks you on the ass to say hello.  I really don’t remember much of the experience but I can guarantee you that my beginning was as unique as the rest of my life has been.  I was a breech baby.  I can’t honestly say I remember if I entered the world butt first or feet first but I’m sure I gave the doctors a shock. At least I hope I did !  Can you imagine being born with a face that looks like a butt and no one can tell which end is up ? Yeeeks !  I carried on the time honored tradition of being born backwards by having two backwards babies of my own.  Fortunately, science had progressed somewhat since my day and a nice surgeon helped me out with my maternal predicament.

Either way, I entered the world the wrong way and have had problems navigating ever since.  For the most part my compass seems to be running correctly but there are those times where I wonder if I left that piece of equipment behind somewhere.  We’ve covered that little inadquacy before so we’ll let it be.  My mother has said since the day I was born that if there is a hard way to do something or a backwards way to do something, I’ll find that way first.  So true, so true.  The bonus of that little quirk is that once I learn a lesson I tend to learn it really well.  This takes me one step closer to learning what life is all about.

I guess birthdays can be seen as an opportunity to reflect in a bemused sort of way about the moments in life that stand out.  I’m sure I’ve had a few doozies but quite frankly I’m too tired to regale you with the tales.  This takes me one step closer to knowing when to keep my mouth shut.

Time passing can also be seen as an opportunity to pontificate on what we hold dear and value strongly.  We can take a moment to pause and identify what we want to accomplish in this life and what mark we want to leave on the world.  This takes me one step closer to making my future a brighter place to be.

As we age things start to shift and melt and grow and shrink and sprout hair and lose hair.  Visits to estheticians and hair dressers and colorists and all kinds of people that can move fat from out butts to our face to assist us in maintaining that youthful appearance of yore.  This takes me one step closer to accepting myself for how I look, embracing that laugh lines are a chronicle of many happy memories I’ve made and understanding that no matter how many times I squat, stretch or lunge, my ass will never look like it did the day I entered this world.   As long as my husband wants to give it a smack now and then, I’m doing ok.

When I hit 40, I half heartedly started a bucket list.  I looked at my life and started to evaluate where I was in my career, where I was with my health and what kind of chances could I take to make more laugh lines.  This takes me one step closer to seeing that life is too short to give a rats fart about what people thing when I run down the road singing after my kids to embarrass them.   I am helping to make laugh lines on my kids faces that they will one day look at and hopefully remember their crazy mother and the fun they had together.  To show my kids once and for all that crazy can come at any time in your life and crossing things off the bucket list beats sane any day, I had their intials incorporated into a tattoo about our family on my leg.  My daughter still tells people with a note of pride about the tattoo her mom has.  Oh look – I just made another smile line.

On this day commemorating the 41st anniversary of my arrival on the planet, I haven’t really thought about much.  My life is pretty much heading where I want it to.  I have been more creative this year than I have in a long time.  I am taking steps to take care of myself and my husband is helping me with that goal with the present of Reebok Reetones which I have refused to lay the money out for until now.  My laugh lines are growing deeper.  My butt is growing wider.  My laugh is growing louder.  My kids are growing taller.  My spine is growing shorter.  My marriage is growing stronger.  This takes me one step closer to becoming that wonderfully rounded individual that I started working on 41 years ago.  I like to think of myself as a work in progress and I think I’ll take it just one step at a time.

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