My Creative Voice

Trying to add value, make sense of what's coming next and keeping things going in the same direction.

Give Me Something To Believe

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My blog originally started out as “The A Child”.  It was all about my son and his litany of  problems.  that happened to all start with A.  I thought by blogging about it not only would I share the angst of raising a kid with issues but I’d get some relief.  While some of the A’s have abated, other things have taken their place. One of which is my son being dyslexic so apparently we are moving down the alphabet.  It was always there I know but until he was 9 we weren’t sure. Now we are in to high school and not much further ahead. I need to believe that something good is going to  happen for my son and I need it to happen soon.

Tonight I got a phone call from his special resource teacher at 920pm. That’s right: 920pm. Some would say this shows dedication and I would probably agree. I also tend to think she crossed a bit of a line but I’ll deal with that later.  Unfortunately for her, she called right after a heated discussion with my husband about our son being targeted at school by staff.  Needless to say, this poor woman didn’t get off the phone with me for a while.

This call was precipitated by an incident at my son’s school where while changing for drama, his too big jeans slipped off his non-existent hips while wearing some over-sized overalls.  Now that wasn’t the problem.  The problem was, they found him behind a screen of clothes with his hands inside the over-sized overalls and thought he was doing something other than pulling up his pants.  For God’s sake ! He was embarrassed by what happened, was trying to get some privacy to fix it and TWO WOMEN TRAP HIM IN A CORNER ! Of course he is going to look like he’s up to something. You’ve just embarrassed the crap out of him. I am not amused.

Unfortunately for my son, it has been one incident or another since the beginning of school.  He has created some of the problems by his behavior and I don’t cut him any slack for that. What I do have a problem with is that it appears to us as though the school now only sees his past when looking at him. He is now marked and targeted. This is not good. He has no where to go where he isn’t getting dumped on for something and at some point he is going to have enough.  We can’t not discipline him at home for stuff to give him a break. The school can’t ignore when something happens. But for crying out loud – can’t we find some balance here ?

Our biggest problem I’ve discovered is that the school just won’t believe me when I say my son is not a good historian.  They continue to cling blindly to the belief that he is telling me what goes on at school.  What freaking 14 year old tells their parents everything that happens at school ? Not too many that I know of.  And they are expecting a kid with Aspergers Syndrome, a short term memory integration issue and dyslexia to recount his day ? I’m freaking lucky if he remembers his way home. On top of that you expect him to throw himself under the bus if he’s done something wrong ?? He might have issues but he’s not crazy as a cat on fire. He has some sense of self-preservation.

Needless to say, I’m sure she made the call expecting a quickie catch up. I’m  sorry to say that was not the case.  I’m sure I owe her a coffee or some other kind of peace offering but at least she understood a few things a bit better.  Not the least of which was the reaction to her comment, “Well, we’ve been trying a few things over the past few months.” What I pointed out to her was that I’ve been dealing with this for 5 years. 5 years of waiting for something to click. 5 years of waiting for his assistive technology to work some kind of miracle. 5 years for someone to figure out how this kid learns and how he can get out of his head what he knows. 5 years of hearing complaints and concerns and condemnation and criticisms. It’s been a long freaking 5 years.

My point ? At the end of our conversation, I pointed out to her that I need something to believe in. I need to hear some good stuff about my kid.  I need to hear that he’s making progress.  I need to hear that someone in this damn school gets my son. I need to know that he is not condemned to spend the next 5 years, or how ever long it takes for him to finish high school, feeling like crap. This kid of mine who has tested above average IQ needs someone to find a way to let him shine without it being an interrogation spotlight. I need to know I’m not the only one who believes in my son.

I’m guessing she won’t be calling that late again …

 

Author: Elizabeth Plouffe

Writer, communicator, entrepreneur, tea enthusiast (bordering on fanatic) who enjoys helping others connect. Cookbook reader, cottage lover, book devourer (apparently I make up my own language too) and seeker of the ambition to exercise.

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